The Pain You Ignore Can Kill You: How My Body Almost Took Me Out for Good

I almost died last month.

Not from an accident.

Not from some freak illness.

But from the trauma I thought I had already healed.

Let that sink in.

I had a tumor growing inside me for years. Quiet. Hidden. Patient.

It sat in the exact spot where I always felt pain.

The same place I braced every time my ex screamed, belittled, gaslit, threatened, manipulated, and violated.

And even though I escaped that relationship years ago…

Even though I built a beautiful life, built a business, rebuilt my joy…

My body never forgot.

The Day My Body Spoke Louder Than I Ever Had

It started with subtle signs:

Stomach pain, exhaustion, digestive issues. I brushed them off, like we all do.

“Just stress.” “Just hormones.” “Just life.”

Until it wasn’t.

Until the doctors found the tumor.

Until I was rushed into emergency surgery.

And they told me straight:

If we hadn’t caught this when we did, it would’ve exploded. And it would’ve killed you.

That’s when I broke.

Trauma Isn’t Just in Your Head It’s in Your Cells

Lying in that hospital bed, tubes in my arms, foggy from surgery… I heard his voice.

No, not a flashback, his actual voice on the phone. And in that moment, my body reacted.

My muscles started spasming violently in the exact place the tumor had grown.

The same muscles that tensed every time I used to say, “I’m fine” when I wasn’t.

The same muscles that held in every scream I swallowed just to stay safe.

That moment was my truth:

I had done the therapy.

I had forgiven him in my heart and mind.

I had moved on and created a beautiful life.

But my body?

My body was still holding on to the war.

The Science Backs It. But I Lived It.

You can’t positive-think your way out of trauma.

You can’t gratitude-journal your way around what your body still believes is unsafe.

When you’ve been in survival mode for so long, your nervous system adapts to threat as normal.

Your organs adapt too. Your immune system, your digestion, your hormones, all of it.

Forgiveness is powerful. But forgiveness without release is a trap.

Your body doesn’t respond to “it’s all in the past.”

It responds to safety.

So, if you’ve never taught your body how to feel emotionally safe again?

It will hold the trauma until it breaks you.

That tumor was my body’s breaking point.

That surgery was my reset button.

And now, this message is yours.

This Is Your Wake-Up Call

If you’ve been through trauma, especially in a relationship, and your body keeps hurting...

If you feel exhausted, sick, inflamed, anxious, or numb all the time…

That’s not something to ignore.

That’s not age.

That’s not “nothing, I'm fine.”

That’s your body screaming for you to listen.

I ignored mine. It almost cost me my life.

I don’t want that for you.

So here’s where you start.

3 Exercises to Begin Releasing Trauma Before It Turns to Illness

1. Body-Based Journaling: Let Your Pain Speak

• Forget polished reflections. Sit. Breathe. Feel into where your body aches or tightens.

• Ask it: “What am I holding on to?”

• Then write from that place. Literally let your stomach, your chest, your throat speak on the page.

• “I’m your gut. I’ve held your fear for years. I’m tired of carrying it.”

• Let the words pour out. No logic. No edits. Just truth.

• Do this regularly. You’ll be shocked at what your body’s been trying to tell you.

2. Vagus-Activating Breathwork: Reset the Alarm System

• Your nervous system needs permission to release.

  
  

• Try this:

• Inhale for 4 seconds

• Hold for 4

• Exhale for 8 seconds

• Repeat for 3–5 minutes

• Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly. Feel your body soften.

• This tells your system: “It’s safe to let go now.”

3. Trauma Shaking (TRE Inspired): Move What Got Stuck

• Put on music. Close the door.

• Start shaking out your hands. Then your arms. Shoulders. Hips. Legs.

• Let your body move without controlling it.

• Bounce. Shake. Cry. Laugh.

• Let it all move through you.

• Your body can release the trauma, but you must first allow it.

Final Words

This blog might be uncomfortable.

Good. It’s meant to wake you up.

Because the pain you’re pushing down isn’t going away.

It’s growing somewhere, in your gut, your chest, your heart, your cells.

Until it makes you stop.

Don’t wait for your body to break like mine did.

Start now.

Breathe.

Move.

Release.

Your body is listening.

It always has been.

Now it’s your turn to answer.

Sending love,

Coach Rose